Hi. My name is Alma and I live in So Cal. I'm probably supposed to be doing something important right now. Oh, and I'm dating a cutie named Emily. lol all my selfies are on my instagram
- pro-life advocates: *verbally harasses abortion patients and pickets outside of clinics, compromising the safety and privacy of the patients*
- westboro baptist church: *holds up picket signs that say how jewish, muslim, and gay people are going to hell and that god hates them personally*
- ferguson protesters: *protests peacefully over the murder of an unarmed black teenager*
- police: what the fUCK this is horrendous and completely out of order call in all units
I need a gay best friend because all my friends are straight and I’m not
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
"I was born in the wrong generation," I sigh wistfully and stare romantically into the distance. "I wish I was alive in 2186 to witness the reapers attack earth."